Card for the Week of 10/12/20 (7 Card Reading)

YouTube Video

The Good Tarot by Colette Baron-Reid

(Past/Energy in Motion) 10 of Air– Graceful Endings and Hopeful beginnings meet, a point of epiphany, an end to old ways of thinking to create the New Earth.

(Where we are now) 4 of Earth- Ownership, The beauty of Divine Order, trusting in a solid foundation. In the midst of all that is happening remember there is a Divine time and Order for everything.

(Hidden Influences) 2 of Earth- Pleasurable work, adaptability, balance between work and play. Hidden in the background trying to make it’s way to the surface is adapting to finding the balance of joy and play in your work, watching the seeds you plant grow. Be flexible and trust the Universe has a plan.

(The obstacle card/What do you need to work on or what could be preventing you from moving forward) 8 of Air- You may need to take a closer look at what you are in denial of and your resistance to the change that is happening. Spirit is encouraging you to open your eyes to see things as they really are, free yourself from the illusions.

(False Influences/How are people or things influencing your current situation) Tower– False Influences at play, creating even more chaos and upheaval to distract you from something better taking the place of the old way. Don’t let others sway you by bringing you down into more fear. All that is happening is still creating a complete paradigm shift. Unexpected events will be very interesting and offer opportunities for positive transformation if you remain present with your eyes open.

(Action required) Page of Water -The Action you are being asked to take to stay in alignment with the highest and greatest good is to open your heart, be in childlike wonder, stay curious and be open to cheerful optimism.

(The Result) 7 of Air– You are being led to have more Independence, being able to trust in your True Self, moving away from conformity due to old people pleasing ways. You will no longer need to look outside of yourself for permission to be who you truly are, to do what you know what is best for you. This will help all when you love, accept and approve of yourself!

Interested in your own personal reading and or healing visit my services at https://joyfullyawakebyvivianhawker.c…

Card for the Week of 10/5/20

YouTube Video

The Spirit Messages Daily Guidance Oracle Deck by John Holland.

Find your Center– When life feels chaotic it times to come back to your center. Slow down, stop as often as you can, pause and breathe into your heart. Check in with yourself, with your Soul. When you are centered, you can make grounded decisions from a place of clarity.

Stand your Ground– Stand up for what you believe in and to do what you know is best for you because only your Soul knows the plan that has been Divinely laid out for you. Remember only you know what is best for you. Remember there were certain lessons you came here to learn. If you find yourself in the same place, repeating the same patterns, feeling unfulfilled and an emptiness, this could be a test to make a different choice, one in which may make others uncomfortable but if it comes from a centered place, from your inner guidance system, your heart…you can’t go wrong. And even if it doesn’t make sense to others in the moment, it will when they see the bigger picture. It’s time to trust your True Self.

If you would like a private reading and or a Reiki Energy healing session please visit my services at https://joyfullyawakebyvivianhawker.c…

Self Discovery

Can turning off our capacity to feel shut down our capacity to heal? Our nervous system is working on over drive, at some point can shut down due to overload?

For the many years that I spent numbing out and chemically functioning through life, either on anti-depressants, sleeping pills, over the counter meds, drugs, alcohol, yet I hid it so well. I was still “functioning” and “responsible”, still doing my job as a mother, wife, an employee, taking care of our home but inside felt lost. As I’ve mentioned before, in 2017 I finally gave in to meditation, (specifically a Kundalini Yoga meditation called Kirtan Kriya; a simple mantra repeating Sa Ta Na Ma while touching my thumb with each sound to each finger tip). I was so desperate to feel change, to feel better, was wanting to move away from substances and also needed to try something different it in hopes that my daughter would try it as well because at a young age she was experiencing anxiety (which really was my undealt emotions). I had no expectations, honestly I was almost wanting to say “ha, see it doesn’t work for everyone”. But out of the blue I began to feel different, calmer, focused, clear for the first time.

The part that comes next not sure everyone will experience but rather quickly my senses began to sharpen, heighten, unexpectedly one night I heard guitar strings strumming out of no where, I would hear my name being called, even heard a choir of angels after a silent 45 minute meditation, flooded with different smells, strange at first but then I began to feel a rush of love, elation, bliss, ecstasy. I had hit that sweet spot where I was in a elevated state of awareness. I felt so connected to God, to the Universe that I couldn’t wait to meditate again. Experience after experience of a mystical loving nature. I began to connect with Angelic energy, my highest self, just an all loving presence and felt so present in presence. It was a feeling that surpassed any drug, as if we know it is possible to reach that point of absolute and we chase it our whole lives through our addictions. And not just chemical/substance abuse but chasing the high that shopping gives us, that gambling, that eating, that relationships, that even stress gives us, to fill the emotional void. Except for a whole year I was able to maintain this feeling even outside of meditation. Not the elation part but a steady feeling of joy, nothing bothered me, I had reached a level of clarity. It was like my Divine mind, heart and soul were all in alignment with God, the all that is almost all the time.

And just like everything else in my life, when I thought I mastered that I moved away from Kundalini Yoga and honestly never tried the array of breath work it provides along with the science to back up why the sound current of the mantras, the hand movements, the breathing techniques help to reprogram our subconscious mind and nervous system to bring us to whole balance.

Prior to the Dark Night of the Soul experience in May 2018, I would say around February, March 2018 I began to have a lot of self doubt, fear began to creep back in, after I became attuned to Reiki and began self healing which in turn made me take a deeper look at what I could no longer run from, the lies I had been telling myself. See although I was doing everything “right” on the outside, I really had not done the inner work (a complete spiritual bypass) and on my soul’s path it required that I have a deeper understanding of my blocks. Kundalini Yoga, is the yoga of awareness combined with Reiki Energy healing there was no more pretending, no more tolerance for the false self anymore. Although I try to stay away from labels now, I didn’t know I was an empath, I didn’t know we are all psychically gifted, I thought only those that were worthy not me were so inclined. As the planet continues to shift we are waking up more and more every day. Our level of awareness will continue to feel uncomfortable unless we do something to truly bring balance to our whole system.

I’ve been told we have the technology to keep up with this technological time we live in, but this technology is within all. Through practices that use the breath, sound, mantra, stillness, movement, ways of working with the body, we can reach a level of awareness of Conciousness that surpasses any computer program because we our Conciousness which is the cloud of wisdom, our heart is the mother board, and our Soul and Spirit are the directors that orchestrate it all alongside God, the light.

Dark Night of the Soul

As I come up to the 2 year mark after my Dark Night of the Soul experience, the Divine guidance I receive is “share the experience”. No more tip toeing around, people are being awoken and some may not make it through unless they know what they are experiencing. Although very difficult, it really is the biggest blessing in disguise and when some of the most profound transformations take place. I compare it to a caterpillar going through it’s many stages of becoming a butterfly. It can not be stopped, otherwise this Divine intervention will not allow your wings to break free from the cocoon and the beautiful butterfly may never fully emerge into her greatness. It’s when we descend into the darkness so the light can be shined upon it. To fully heal our shadows, like an initiation into another layer of our truth. Out of this most uncomfortable experience we are shown the Truth, so our soul can fully emerge and integrate to stay in alignment on our path into our life’s mission. It is the death of the false self (some call it the Ego) to allow the soul to fully integrate and union with God. During this integration process, everything emerges and can feel like one disaster after another where old lifeless patterns are resurfacing again and again so we can stop the B.S. and exam our lives with a fine tooth comb.

Our soul will no longer allow the excuses, will no longer allow us to play small and if we do, we shall not sulk in a corner and feel pity or play the victim any longer. We must accept where we are and who we are. Our soul knows the power we hold within and needs things to be shaken up to wake us out of this sleep walking path that we’ve been on. It is such a bizarre thing to go through and for many this Shamanic initiation process in it’s realness, are shown the mystical parts of life, where we have to stop asking “how did that just happen?”, sometimes we need to accept the miracles of life. Accept that there is higher power greater than us, through true surrender. When we can fully fall to our knees and say “Dear God, I don’t know how to do this”. Which really was the only way I personally was able to get through this process, when I stopped fighting, when I stopped running and stopped hiding and faced the demons. I am in the process of writing about this experience, as part of my creation and to help those going through this spiritual crisis from being diagnosed as a psychological one. More and more people are being possessed by fear so that we can move through it and emerge into the loving, compassionate beings we truly are. As we are all undergoing a massive awakening to heal as the collective to remember the Oneness of Unity Consciousness. The poem below puts the experience in it’s simplest form (I wrote this while deep in the healing process after a period of what most would call psychosis but was really was my awakening. I was in and out of different realities, dimensions, living life on both sides and realize now I was being shown what we are all going through and what is to come).

Dark of the Soul
Ocean waves moving in motion like our never-ending crashing emotions, smashing against the tide when we don’t trust our inner guide,
Everywhere I go, nowhere to hide from the anger and disappointment that I feel inside, the resentment that arises from memories when I felt I didn’t have a voice or a choice.

Would not, could not speak up and out for myself,
At work, at home, it seems everywhere I turn, carefully walking on eggshells, as slowly pieces inside of me began to chip away at all my dreams and desires until I completely lost my way.
Ungrounded, astounded by the tearful, fearful person in the mirror who has lost her natural state to want to create.
Job-less, car-less, emotion-less, devotion-less…….a sad feeling of emptiness.

STOP….Breathe, take a moment to be present, face this fear, do not give it any more power and do not allow all that self-abusive chatter to get louder and louder.
Have I really lost everything or have I just began?
Remembering who I really am.

Through strength, faith and true desire to create, remembering I came here to thrive not just survive.
Live for today and a better tomorrow, leave all the self-doubt and abuse for a positive attitude and a life of gratitude.
I believe in myself, for within is the pure love, truth, the light of my soul, my inner spirit that chose to live Heaven on Earth
With A dream, A desire, beyond expansion with passion and fire.

Trust

We are being asked to trust. A message from the Angels and Guides!

Trust and have faith in our creator, in the Universe. Everything happens in Divine Order and Divine timing. Always trust that you are being guided towards and onto the path of your purpose, of your divine mission. We will make sure you see the signs and symbols towards the next steps, towards your dreams and desires. We are always with you, guiding you and loving you. We want what is best for you, for it begins with you, your light, your love and how you spread and shine that light upon others.

Trust in yourself, trust your intuition, your psychic senses, for as you can tell they are blossoming more and more everyday. Opening up to other realms. Release any fear you may have regarding this process, it’s only love that we want you to focus on. Love and joy is what your true purpose is, your mission is to share that love and joy with others. It is what will heal your planet, it is what will keep each other going, humanity as a whole. We are all one, each person has an inner light, yours my dear shines extremely bright for we know it begins with you. Keep going within, connect with source, we will continue to connect with you and give you the messages that you ask for but trust and have faith the answers are within you.

Follow your gut feelings in taking your next steps, as that gut feeling is information we have put there to guide you, a download of information that is within. Trust and have faith and you will feel the life of your dreams. Goodbye for now, Goodbye for now, We love you, We love you, We love you.

One last thing, anytime you feel the urge to create, trust that urge, it us nudging you, have confidence that your messages are great!

Tools and Tips

As we are in the week of the 11/11 gateway and energy of the full moon this is bringing in high streams of light. I have felt elated and a sense of peace and calm. I have to assume that my practices have allowed me to integrate as well as ground this energy. For some that may be having a difficult time and for those that just want to keep a sense of balance the following are some tips I’ve been guided to share.

Nature Walks- Not just walking blindly and unconsciously but look around, look up at the sky, at the ground, the surroundings. Feel the outdoors, the air, the grass, the dirt, the water, the sun, smell, hear the sounds. Use your senses to connect with nature and tune into our soul, our intuition.

Breathe- Take long intentional breaths. Breathe in slowly, allow your body to fill, beginning at the pelvic area, rising up into the belly and allow your breath to expand into your heart, hold it, if you can and then slowly breathe out. Take long breaths while cooking, folding laundry, as you do what most consider mundane every day tasks, take it in.

Listen– Just listen without judgement, without the need to fix.

Surrender- Know what you want, visualize it, write it down, meditate on it and then surrender it. Trust that whatever needs to take place, will. Know that it may not be exactly how our human ego mind wants it to be but be open, open to allowing the Divine to step in and be open to allow and receive. Be receptive, BE RECEPTIVE. Us givers feel it’s selfish to receive. It’s part of self care to allow help in, it’s part of our birthright to receive, as we allow love in, we give love and the cycle continues. Be open to receive miracles. This feeling of selfishness for taking care of ourselves is breaking down in the system, it can hurt at times but it has to happen in order to allow love in, break down the walls around the heart, open the heart, it’s been closed for a very long time.

Meditate- Kundalini meditation, breath work, deep breathing, guided meditation, mantras, just meditate. Constant-Consistency, be consistent but do not lie to yourself. If you know you can only do 10 minutes than stick to it and if you can do an hour but only choose to do 5 minutes than it is what it is, just don’t lie to yourself. We have been conditioned to lie, to make excuses to the most important person in our lives, the self. The self knows when it’s lied to. “Own it.”

Affirm- Affirm love. I choose love today. And be open to allowing and receiving all the loving abundance the Universe has to offer. I am now grounded.

Stay Grounded- We tend to hang out, outside of our bodies due to trauma, pain, distractions, worry, stress, etc. So important to call our energy back into our bodies. By calling ourselves back from all time, places and spaces. Call back all pieces of yourself that you may have given up unconsciously or consciously to another. “I call back my power and energy back into my physical body now”. Command it back, put your hand on your heart and the other hand on your belly, breathe and then ask “Higher self, show me what my energy feels like”. You may feel your throat close, anxious, your stomach or head hurt, feel it, sit in it for a moment (thoughts may enter into your mind, perhaps a person that made you angry during the day, or you were worrying about a child, work, or something from 10 years ago, whatever comes to mind, just be the witness, allow and observe). Thank your higher self and then ask that you be cleared of all that is not of you, all that is not for you, all that does not belong to you and all that does not serve you and breathe. Ask that you be grounded. Imagine a bolt of light coming down directly from Divine Source and imagine golden liquid melted honey like light dissolving this energy away and grounding your energy to the New Earth. Allowing the Earth’s energy to heal and balance your mind, body and spirit. And then thank God, the Universe, your Angels, guides, higher self (whatever it is that you call that all loving presence). “Thank you for clearing, cleansing, uplifting, grounding and protecting my energy and auric field at all times. Thank you, thank you, thank you and so it is.”

I hope this helps. With much love always!

Celebrate theDivineFeminine (May the Month of Mary)

To all my beautiful perfect women and girls on the Planet. My sisters. I hope you know how loved you are, how powerful you are, how perfect you are, how whole and complete you are just as you are. May you find solace in knowing that this a time for us to rejoice, to come together, to stand fully in our soul’s truth.

I have a connection with the Divine Mother and although I thought this connection began with my awakening, this connection has always been there. On so many occasions the room would fill with the smell of roses, the way her loving presence showed me how I was already embodying the Divine, the way she whispered ” Go within and you will find purpose”. I would be awoken at night to her speaking to me, bringing me from fear to love in a quickness. Her reassurance that everything will be okay and to always remember “You are my daughter and I Love you more than you know”. Her presence is powerful and over flowing with unconditional love. We are all connected to her and many other powerful, loving Goddesses, Masters, women that have pathed the way for us now. To fully embody what it is to be a beautiful Divine Being in form.

I used to say the Lord’s prayer every night and at some point it began to dawn on me that as I did the sign of the cross “in the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit” the Mother was missing??? This baffled me so I would add “in the name of the father , the son, the holy spirit and the Divine Mother”. I could feel a shift take place that brought up feelings around how women of the past were treated (seemed to be left out, or at least in the Catholic Religion that I grew up with, there is little mention of women). We all have a gift of intuition and as a woman if you feel shame around it, most likely you were considered very powerful and a threat due to your gifts of creativity, to using your inner knowing. Around this time last year I had past life experiences come up, of men coming after me, wanting to take my power away. Experiences of feeling and watching from the eyes of Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene as they watched beloved Jesus on the cross. I felt their pain, their sadness and saw through the eyes of Jesus as well as he watched his mother and his beloved watch his soul leave his body. When I asked, “Why am I seeing this?, how could I be seeing and feeling this?” I was told to stop crucifying myself. Stop beating myself up for my past, for who I am, all the guilt and shame I had built around being a feminine woman, around sex, around my body, around motherhood, in so many ways I was crucifying myself over and over and over again. If we are not aware of another way, another option than we do what we are conditioned to do but there is a place within us all that knows what is truth.

This is why it is so important to become conscious, to ask questions, to know what our motives are around our actions. Is is old programming, old teachings that taught us if we are in a woman’s body, we are lesser than? That taught us that there can’t be a healthy balance of both the masculine and feminine energy that is within all of us. Within each of us, we in form can embody both and celebrate both of these energies equally, as well as the gender we have taken on in this lifetime. All I know is as I become more and more aware, I can now look at my husband and celebrate his strengths and look at myself and celebrate mine as a woman.

I hope every women knows how worthy she is of love and can love herself with great grace, beauty and wisdom. And the hope that every man respects women and can see the great power she holds and the power we gain as we work together and not against each other.

Last year as I was doing a lot of inner healing a moment that I felt I didn’t know where to turn I prayed, the light began to get really bright and almost change color, as the room had a golden hue. I picked up a pen and began to write, my heart expanded so big I felt I was in the center of it and as I did I smelled roses. This is the message from Mother Mary that I received to help heal the inner child:

I want to release her of any fear and sadness by asking her Angels of the love and light to surround her with the light of pure Divine Love, to Zero her out of all that does not server her, all that does not belong to her, to allow her to breathe, with every in breath expanding the love within, directly connected to the purest form of love, bliss, joy.  Knowing this is the sweet spot, her birthright, to be able to connect directly to source, to connect with her higher power, surrounded and protected with pure Divine light at all times.  Until I can show her how to do this on her own to empower, cleanse and uplift her.  As her Divine Mother, she is released of all guilt, worry, shame, doubt, negativity, into the light to allow her Divine team of the light to dissolve all negativity, transmuted into pure positive loving energy.  Grounded in her truth of who she really is, a beautiful, confident, loving being of light herself, a diamond star that shines bright.